The Laugh.

Screenshot_1031 I haven’t had a good laugh for a long, long time, and so long I can’t even remember the last time I laughed so I prayed to God and asked Him to send me something that will really make me laugh and as always He delivered: I was watching the TV news and one of the reporters showed us these photos he’d doctored super-imposing his face on top of other people’s faces, making for funny photos, such as him at the Trump-Putin summit, him with Trump and the Queen, him horseback riding with Giselle Bundchen ,etc. it was really funny and I laughed so hard I laughed out loud, exactly the kind of thing I needed and was looking for. It never fails to amaze me how God cares so much for each and every one of us, that even the smallest,most insignificant things still matter to God if they are important to us and if we ask for them; all we have to do is ask. If it matters to us, it matters to God.

As well, the 11 YR old’s such a genius he’s memorized 35 digits of Pi (all I know is the 3.14) and he’s skipped several grades in school for years now and will be starting grade 9 (that’s highschool!) when school resumes in the fall! The pool guy was back again (he was here 4 hours) as well and seemed to have finally found the main leak: he dug a second hole underground and said that when the other pool guys either opened or closed the pool for the season when they took the “jet” out they punctured the wall and one of the lines somehow, his guess would be with a screwdriver or something trying to force it out, and so he fixed it, costing 350$ which is still way better than 950$.

So now we can run it and add the chemicals…..and hope it clears up and that we get to use it at least for the second-half of summer as we haven’t been able to so far and it’s been so HOT this month I would have been swimming every day! Today, for instance, with the humidity( feels 40 C) we’re under a severe thunderstorm warning, but hopefully at least it will cool it down. Both my mother and hubby say they won’t even be opening the pool next year if we’re still here but they always say that every year….they say it’s a waste of $$$$ just because they don’t swim and they don’t use it and it’s mainly me that does and as we all know anything for me isn’t worth it.

I wonder as well if maybe my pain might be a kidney infection or UTI as even though it started in the abdomen it’s now really bad in the lower back, both sides,and now I also noticed that my pee is really cloudy and foamy, signs of infection, and it has this really strong pungent odour that stinks like cat piss. Every now and then I still get the odd twinge shoot thru my abdomen as well but the worst now is my back.It’s always something; I don’t think I’m ever really pain-free.

Screenshot_1032 Also this because sunflowers make me happy.

CT Scan.

Screen Shot 09-12-17 at 07.55 PM I had my CT scan. It only lasted 10 minutes which was surprisingly fast, esp. considering the MRI’s I had before took about an hour. First of all I had to choke down that utterly disgusting barium drink 2 hours before, the contrast dye, which tasted like glue and paint, even though I tried to visualize and pretend that it was a nice thick creamy chocolate milkshake. I just had to chug it down all at once which was easier than trying to tolerate it bit by bit but the hardest part was trying to keep it down after without barfing, but I did it! They also gave me more contrast dye thru an IV which I wasn’t expecting; I thought the drink was instead of, not as well as, and I absolutely hate IV’s, it’s the worst medical procedure I hate having done as my veins don’t co-operate and they have to keep trying several times and keep poking me and it gets all bruised but luckily this one did it the first time and I have them use small needles which also helps. They said I should get results in about a week, which I get thru my family doctor. I also went to check out a friend’s new bakery that she recently opened with her sisters and I bought a pumpkin spice cheesecake tart, but it’s expensive; 3 $ just for one!(but it was good!)

My hubby told me when I was done to call him at the house to come pick me up but I completely forgot our home phone number; I just went blank and couldn’t remember it, I could just remember his cell number so I called that. I really don’t know what’s wrong with my brain lately; it’s just…..shutting down. I feel like an old lady with Alzheimers. Last night laying in bed I also felt drops of blood dripping out of my pee-hole and the thought occurred to me that maybe what I’d always just assumed and thought all along was just bleeding in-between periods due to menopause wasn’t actually menstrual bleeding afterall, and not even bleeding from that hole, but from the other one, the pee hole, all along, from whatever my issue is with my bladder or kidneys, or whatever, and perhaps it’s maybe a urinary tract infection or something,too, although that still doesn’t explain the drastic 50 pound weight loss and it doesn’t hurt when I pee and I had a bladder infection before when I was a kid and it burned when I peed…..

I really feel in my heart that it’s probably cancer though; that’s what’s causing my symptoms, most likely either bladder cancer or otherwise cancer that originated elsewhere and has spread to the bladder, although it could just be a bladder or kidney infection or kidney stones,too, but that doesn’t explain the weight loss, just the blood in the pee, the abdomenal, back,and side pain, and the cloudy, foul-smelling pee, but hopefully the scan will show whatever it is, and my hubby mentioned about me not having to buy hair dye anymore if it turns out I do have cancer as I’ll lose all my hair with chemo and when I told him I won’t be doing chemo; I’ll just let it take it’s course he looked sort of surprised. Sometimes I’ve also have the feeling that last Christmas was my last Christmas and that this year’s was also my last summer, last time at the Ex, and the last time I get to swim in our pool, so who knows, maybe I really do have cancer and my days are numbered…..????