Wow! What A Storm!

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I know that generally fall begins on the 21st but this year it begins today on the 22nd, making yesterday the last official day of summer and boy was it ever a hot humid stormy one! It was so thick, muggy,and humid it felt like 37 C and thunderstorms( and it was a series of storm cells,too, not just one, as it lasted for hours) with wind so bad, it got to 100 KM/HR at one point it was loudly banging and rattling on the windows and it honestly sounded like someone was trying to break in. It was quite scary,actually, and it freaked out poor Buddy; he kept barking at it, thinking there was a threat. The 19 YR old away at school in Ottawa even had a tornado warning and was told to seek immediate shelter!

Holy f*ck!

The thunder was sooooo loud as well it woke everyone up in the middle of the night all except for my hubby ( who has also slept right thru a blaring fire alarm and an earthquake before!!) and the 11 YR old but it sure woke up the rest of us! It was so loud it shook my entire room and the sound was this tremendous bang! when I was jolted awake at first I thought, What the f*ck was that? and I’d wondered if a plane might have crashed somewhere nearby or perhaps there was a car accident or something and then when the lightening lit up the entire room I knew what it was, Oh….ok, it’s just a bad storm…. but poor Buddy was going ape-shit; he ran and hid under the bed, scared shit-less and then he realized he needed more comfort so he hopped back into bed with me and snuggled as close to me as he possibly could,trembling and shaking, and I snuggled him close to me and comforted him.

Our Internet was also off for several HRS and our power kept going off during the night and my radio went off 3-4 times. Power is still out in some parts of town, trees are down, and in a nearby town lightening even hit a house, blew the power box right off the wall, set the house on fire and it burned right to the ground! I can still remember whent hat happened to our family cottage when I was a little kid: during the off-season it was hit by lightening and burned to the ground and I was esp. upset as I’d left my toy Snoopy there and it sadly perished in the fire.

Screenshot_459 But there was also this: DQ pumpkin Blizzard! Isn’t it just glorious? I’m feeling really bad with my virus as well, just so run-down tired, actually more run over is more like it, and then backed over again.From what I can remember the last time I felt this tired was when I was prego and when my liver was failing. I also have a stiff, sore neck, a headache that won’t go away, and a really sore lower back. I’m a broken down old jalopy that needs an over haul. Time to go in to the shop for some serious repairs.

Barf Out!

barf I did this big, huge barf today, just out of nowhere. I didn’t even feel sick to my stomach or anything; it just came out! I was sitting on the toilet with cramps and diarrhrea when I suddenly got the urge to barf so I grabbed the garbage can and quickly leaned over …..and out it came,spewing out, and there was alot….must have been my entire stomach contents, and I could definitely see my whole dinner in there, the mini shell pasta very noiceable…and I was gagging and choking on the lumps. It was so gross.

For the past 2 days though I’ve been extra tired, the kind of fatigue where you even wake up tired and your eyes are burning and stinging and you have to nap and I even slept in 30 minutes later than I normally do and just feel so run-down exhausted. I also have a sore lower back.diarrhrea, and headache and abdomenal pain and now the barf,too, so I must be coming down with something. Ugh!

The first day of school went well, except they couldn’t find their notebooks so they had to go to the store in the morning and get those. They’re all in highschool now, even the 11 YR old who’s a genius and has skipped ahead 3 grades although his math is grade 10. My hubby also saw a chipmunk in the house; it ran across his desk in his office in the basement. If Buddy ever comes across it he’ll know what to do with it; the same grim fate that befell that poor mouse the other day. The pool guy’s also coming sometime later this week and closing it for the season and the water’s all green again now anyway.

Cool Kid.

Screen Shot 11-22-17 at 06.26 PM After I’d had my weed yesterday I heard a voice inside my head say, Everyone knows that the cool kids smoke weed. You finally made it! You’re finally cool! and then, even in my dazed stupor I still broke out into a smile and then a laugh. Me,cool? I laughed at the thought of it but in actual fact,however, this is the closest that I’ve ever been, and will ever even remotely be, to being cool. It is, arguably, the coolest thing that I’ve probably ever done though…

The 14 YR old’s also sick and barfing and has a fever, headache,and really sore throat she rates a 8/10 on the pain scale and it hurts so much she can’t swallow and hasn’t eaten all day and it even hurts to swallow down a sip of a drink, and she wasn’t able to swallow her pills,either. Shit, I hope it’s not Strep.Hopefully just the same virus going around the house that others had. I also noticed when I was walking Buddy in the morning that Donna’s put her house up for sale,too, no doubt because her dogs have been poisoned. They have a For Sale sign up on their lawn now. They’ve lived here for 8 years and she really likes the house but has had enough of the losers here. I can see why.

2 For 1.

Screen Shot 11-18-17 at 05.17 PM Both my hubby and the 10 YR old went to the ER. It was a 2 for 1 kind of thing. After seemingly feeling better and starting to recover from their virus they both started to feel worse again, so there’s always the concern of a secondary infection following the virus, such as Strep or a lung infection, plus the 10 YR old had abdomenal pain as well that kept waking him up during the night and I was worried it could be his appendix so it’s better to go get checked (and have it be nothing) and be sure ( than to not and have it be something serious).  There was also this fear that maybe, just maybe, he had leukemia like the 19 YR old did when he was 7 and it brought back frightening flashbacks of that time we first brought him to the ER; how we just thought he had the Flu and we’d be right back home soon, how everyone had recovered from the virus except him, but it turned out to be leukemia. It was a nightmare. I can’t imagine him having to go thru what the 19 YR old did, or us as a family having to live thru that trauma again. I can’t even go there. I can’t even think about it.I got PTSD from it last time. Let’s just say I was so sick with fear, stress,and worry I could barely even function, esp. someone like me who has an anxiety disorder to begin with. I was just a wreck, and I could feel the adrenaline coursing thru my body and my hands were cold with fear, I was shaking, my stomach was sick, and I was just numb with panic and fear.

Luckily they think he just pulled a muscle in his abdomen from all his coughing although they didn’t take an X-ray or do any blood work but they did check his oxygen stats and listen to his heart and lungs and take his temp. and he doesn’t have a fever. My hubby did get an X-ray and his lungs are clear; just a bad cough that could take 6 weeks to resolve. What a relief! I also realized that all of the kids have been to the ER at least once in their lives now. Talk about alot of stress and worry!Life with kids is not easy, esp. for us with so many medical issues, traumas, crisis, tragedies, and misfortunes. I was also woken up at 3 am by the skunk-ish stench of a gross diarrhrea in my room that Buddy did on my carpet and I don’t know if he was whining or not to be let out as I was asleep!

I also looked out the kitchen window at the back and saw a cat trying to catch a chipmunk and they were running around all over the pool cover and the chipmunk kept escaping and I was hoping he’d get away but he didn’t; in the end the cat caught him and walked away victorious holding it by the tail, dangling from it’s mouth. Sometimes the cat wins. Just like in life. I’d like to get 2 new tattoos as well: a butterfly on my wrist to signify support for the 14 YR old with her eating disorder, and a Dachshund on the left side of my chest where my heart is for Buddy.

I saw on the news as well something awesome that I need in my life( except for the fact that it costs 230$!) : a weed Advent calendar! Every day during Advent ( the countdown until Christmas) you open a little window marked with the day on it and there’s a weed goodie of some sort behind it; an edible or something, for each day. We just have the regular Advent calendars that have chocolates behind the little windows, which is good, but weed? now that’s an Advent calendar I could really get excited about and look forward to every day!

Flat.

Screen Shot 10-16-17 at 07.19 PM I feel flat.  Just flat. Just completely stomped on. I heard the kids making fun of my blog last night,and the 16 YR old continues her cruel vendetta against me for whatever reason(what’s her problem,anyway?) and referred to me as that loser over there and said about me, that I’m so ugly I can’t even look at her. This is the kind of crap I get and have to put up from my family all the time and it’s not right.

I’ve had enough. They’re abusive. They’re bullies. They’re cruel. They’re heartless. They’re mean. Normal people don’t go around hurting other people like that. Kids shouldn’t be so disrespectful and no one should treat someone like that. What’s wrong with them,anyway? Why are they so mean?

I’m flat and I feel like I’m just going to curl up into a wisp and be carried off and be free, like a leaf that gets picked up by the wind and blown away. Just all withered away and dried up, used up, flat and dry, nothing left of it anymore. My life now basically consists each day now of just waiting to die.

As well, I all of a sudden feel really nauseated, the 14 YR old has a really sore throat and even had trouble swallowing I hope isn’t Strep throat,and I was concerned my mother might have been having a heart attack as she said she didn’t feel right and her left arm felt “heavy” so I thought at her age it’s better not to take any chances and she should go and get it checked out but she said she never had any nausea, chest or arm pain, arm numbness or tingling, and she wasn’t sweaty or dizzy, so I told her to at least take an Aspirin which is supposed to prevent heart attacks so she did and now she says she feels better, so maybe there’s just some virus going around? She says she also has diarrhrea and the chills now,too…

3 am.

Screen Shot 07-17-17 at 08.32 AM I woke up again last night at 3 am. Then I just rolled over and went back to sleep again. It’s the weirdest thing: usually whenever I wake up during the night it’s around 3 am. It might be a headache woke me up, or a storm, a dream, a nightmare, having to go pee, hear a noise, or I just woke up, but it’s almost always at 3 am if I do wake up during the night, it’s the strangest thing.Last night I could have sworn I heard a(female) voice saying to me, Hello… as well!  I guess it’s a good time though to wake up if I’m going to wake up during the night anyway as it’s early enough that I still have time to get back into a good sleep and sleep well a few HRS before I have to wake up in the morning. I wonder if the 3 am time signifies anything though, and if so, what? Is that the time, perhaps, that I’m going to die, at 3 am, and I also know that some have said that the “veil” between this world and the  next is thinnest around that time; at 3 am, and that it’s a “holy” hour and a good time to pray, but either way it just seemed kind of unusual and I wondered if it might indicate something…

As well all yesterday I felt dizzy, light-headed, and like I was going to faint, and both my arms felt really limp and weak, like jelly, and I just felt so drained, weak,washed-out, and like I was fading away….no, I never had any weed in case you were wondering..…..all I could do was lay down, I felt like total shit. I was also really sweaty but that one I can’t tell if it’s because I might be sick with some virus, or due to hot-flashes of menopause, or just simply because it’s freaking hot out! Either way, it took all the energy I had just  to drag my tired, sorry ass off  from the couch to the porch swing outside. That’s enough exercise for the day, thank you. I feel like a dried up wilted plant.

The Gift.

screen-shot-12-06-16-at-08-27-am The 13 YR old is really good at getting free stuff, I mean she’s really good at it. She just seems to have this natural skill at it. She goes online and gets all these free samples, she enters contests, she fills out surveys, she just always seems to be getting free swag,and not cheap stuff,either, but really good stuff. Her latest acquisition came yesterday brought by courier….and it ended up to be a free gift from Amazon as a thank you for being such a good customer! It was a professional quality microphone that she’d had on her Wish List that’s worth close to 200$ She was so surprised and happy when it came, it was amazing! What a nice Christmas gift!  Of course my first thought was, “Exactly how good of a customer is  she and how much did she spend?” So now,of course, all the kids are wanting to make Wish Lists on their Amazon accounts, hoping that they’ll get free gifts sent to them,too!

As well, the 22 YR old quit his job as it was hurting his back, but he should have waited until he found another job first, before he quit this one,  the 17 YR old went to both a semi-formal dance and a semi-formal dinner and she was dressed up so nicely and had her long hair curled and she looked so pretty, and there’s a virus going thru our house now as well and so far the 22 YR old, 17 YR old,and 13 YR old have had it, and I just hope that no one’s sick over Christmas but we have over 2 weeks for it to make it’s rounds by then.

I also dyed my hair auburn so it’s no longer “salt & pepper”. I did like it that colour, but I also thought that all that grey made me look old, and this is the colour it was when I was 21 so it makes me look and feel younger…..but of course no one even noticed that I dyed it or said anything, and Buddy was bad as well: he stole a slice of pizza off the table and then ran under the couch with it and hid ! What a naughty little f*cker!!