Thinking happy thoughts…

Dearest friends,

When I am in a dark place and feeling desolate and despairing(which is generally more often than not) I “travel” back in time, so to speak, back to a time when I was happy, thinking happy thoughts ,remembering happy times and memories that make me smile. I have these imprinted into my memory. The happiest time of my life was in the 1970’s when I was a kid, with 1978 being my best year ever.Sadly, the last time I can REALLY remember when I was happy was when I was in grade 6.(I have had happy MOMENTS since then, such as having my babies,  but haven’t BEEN happy; it’s not the same thing) A sad thought, but true. It’s been so long I can hardly even remember what being happy even feels like. Darkness just  permeates and I need to recall these happy moments to hold on to , to get me thru the dark times.. Here they are….

Sitting on the bus on the way home from camp; I look out the window and see a metallic blue Volkswagon “Punch-Buggy” drive past.

I am at an aunt’s house and it’s Christmas; I am sitting on the floor playing with my new Barbie gymnastics toy.

It’s Christmas and we’re at my cousins,and we are all sitting in their sunken rec-room.

Christmas again at my grandparents and my aunt and uncle are there,too. I am sitting in front of the tree.I am probably 8-9 years old.

Christmas yet again at my other aunt’s. I am on the floor, looking up a their tree with the big blue lights and the decorated mantle.I am maybe 6-7?

Winter at my aunt’s and I am outside in the snow, making a snowman and shovelling with my little red shovel.I am 6 or so.

Summer at my aunt’s and I am climbing a tree and running around to the backyard.Sitting under a Weeping Willow tree and peeking in her little “milk” delivery “window at the side of the house, near the side door.

At my aunt’s again and this time I am exploring in her basement, opening up boxes and find some of my toys there!

At my grandparent’s and another girl and I are walking and I am pushing my doll in my old-fashioned doll pram.

I am at camp, riding horses.

Swimming at camp.(from age 6-12)

I am in grade 6 and my friend and I are are sitting in my diningroom, in front of the fireplace, playing with our Barbies and toy horses.

I am in grade 6 and my friend from grade 5 who had moved away ,has come to visit, and she, my other friend, and I are poking around in the backyard in the snow.

My friend and I in grade 7-8 going skating on the outdoor rink in winter.

My friend and I in grade 8; I am going to Highland Creek with her and her family. We are swimming in the creek and having a picnic.

Another friend and I in grade 8; I am with her and her family in Niagara Falls for a picnic.

In grade 9, friends and I have climbed out the classroom window and onto the roof, where we bask in the sun and ea our lunch.

I am in grade 8 and my dog has died having puppies, but I am raising them by hand.A friend of mine comes over and he and I are playing with the 4 pups.

I am in the back of the station wagon with my cousins while it is in motion. We are going somewhere and we have stretched out in the back with blankets and sleeping bags.

I am at the cottage.I am about 5-6 years old. Swimming in the lake, digging in the sand, swinging on the tire-swing over the creek and jumping in.Playing on the beach.

I am 5 years old or so and my cousins and I are having fun with their puppy,and we are putting it under our shirts.

My cousins and I, we are riding bikes out in the country where they moved. We go to an apple orchard and pick apples, filling up our shirts,and the irate farmer comes charging out, chasing us, and we take off like a bat out of Hell.

I am at my grandparent’s and walking in their massive garden,picking the varieties of flowers.

My cousins and I, age 5-6,  laying on the floor on these big  hairy, fluffy pillows, laying on our stomachs, watching TV.My pillow is a brilliant pink.

At a babysitter’s. I am 7-8. I am in the backyard, “painting” the fence with a paint brush and  water. I go inside and she has made me home-made macaroni and cheese.

At a babysitter’s(I am 2-3 years old) and I am in this huge yard, with big ,white, sunken, wooden chairs. Another kid and I are making ‘hickey” marks all over eachother’s backs!

I am in Kindergarden and I am making a dog out of clay. It is half purple and half orange!

I am in Kindergarden and I am  dyeing Easter eggs. Mine is orange.

I am about 5: a relative has gone to Myrtle Beach and brings me back  a plastic orange piggy-bank and a long blue velvet Daschund toy.

My cousin gives me a red and white “Scottie” dog toy for Christmas. I am 5 yeas old. I still have the toy today, a little worse for wear!

I am 4-5 years old. My friend and I are out on the front lawn doing cartwheels.

I am 10-11 or so. Going to camp. I am wearing a white terrycloth shorts and top.

I am 11 and I have my first dog, a Beagle. It’s a good summer; I am outside, walking the dog.

I am 11 and we moved to our house. I am in the bare house, it’s moving day and we’re waiting for the movers to arrive.

I am in grade 5 and  I am at my friend’s house. We are sitting in her beanbag chairs.

It is summer and I am 9 or so. We are at my aunt’s.My cousin had a baby and I am playing with my doll and have made a baby bottle filled with white baby powder mixed with water.

I am 13 and my cousin had a baby.We are at my aunt’s house visiting.It;’s summer and we’re on a porch swing in the backyard.

It’s New Year’s and we’re at my aunt’s. We are taking down the Christmas tree and putting the ornaments in boxes.I must be 8-9 or so.

I am 10 or so and decorating our house for Christmas. We have metallic foil streamers going across our walls, corner to corner.

It is the 1976 Olympics. I am 9 and seeing Nadia Comeneci.I put up my hair in a high  ponytail at the back just like her.

I am in grade 7-8 , and it’s summer,and my friend and I are in the park.We’re flinging the swings up around the poles to “save” for future use. We go to 7-11 and buy Coke Slurpees and french fries at the diner beside it. We go back to her house and climb the garage roof, where we see a hole and “gob” into the hole.

I am 20 and a friend and I go for a ride on his motorcycle. We get ice cream and walk along the beach at night. We sit up on a huge rock and look out over the water.

I am in grade 8, it’s spring,  and a friend and I travel across the city to visit our friend who has moved. We eat lunch at her parent’s restaurant and walk around.

I am in grade 6 and have a new pair of Cougar boots. I go out in the backyard at the first snow and hack around.

I am in grade 7- 8 and a friend and I go to the discount store and I buy 2 pairs of “jellyfish” shoes: one a clear pink with silver sparkles, and another a clear blue with silver sparkles.

I am in grade 4-5 and I have on a orangey suede skirt, matching vest and cream-colour blouse. It is recess and I am outside in the schoolyard.

I am in grade 4 or so and I have these new blue suede shoes: they have a platform rubber heel with “racing stripes” across it. Typical 1970’s chunky shoes.

I am in grade 5 and I am walking to school in the morning  with a friend. It’s fall and it’s a rainy day and the leaves are colourful and falling.

I am in grade 2 or so and go to school early to stand around the Christmas tree and sing carols before school starts.

I am in grade  3-4 and it is winter. I am at school during lunch. I am in the yard playing in the snow, coasting down the hill on my lunch box and throwing snowballs.  I fall into a melted puddle and get soaked.

I am in grade 3 and I am having lunch at a friend’s house. She gives me clothing she has outgrown, incl. a light blue fuzzy shirt that has an image of blocks on the front that spell out “baby”.

I am in grade 4 and a friend has just returned from USA and has brought many of us packs of Pop Rocks candy.

Every Friday as a kid; going to the variety store at lunch and being able to buy a whole small bag of goodies for 25 cents. I remember chips, Wig-Wag chocolate bars, Black Bart gum, Bottlecaps,Lick-a -stick, etc..

A babysitter made ,and gave me, a rainbow coloured crushed velvet pillow for Christmas.

School trip to Ottawa in grade 5. We took a train and stayed at a hotel.

I am in grade 7-8 and a friend and I get matching T-shirts: light pink, with a glittery Pink Panther decal ironed on the front, and our names, in white velvet, on the back.

I am in grade 5 and I have these new “Earth shoes”; blue suede, rubber heel and laces.

I am in grade 1 and I have this new shiny rainbow mouse pin I wear on my blouse for school photo day.

I am 11 and it’s summer. My cousin(age 18) is staying with us going to university. He and I are recording funny stuff on my new tape recorder.

I am 15 and my friend and I go downtown every Saturday to this falafel restaurant to spy on this boy I like who works there.It’s his uncle’s store.

I am in grade 3-4 and open my lunch in the lunchroom and find a nice surprise: in my foil wrap is a chicken sandwich, with dressing and mayonaise.

We are at a restaurant with my aunt and uncle,and my uncle bets me a quarter I can’t eat my entire sundae….but I do!

Sitting at the stools at a diner in a store, drinking a thick chocolate milkshake.I was about 3-4.

At a diner and they have a juke-box,and I put in coins and select music.

June: school(grade 1-6) Field Days.

Grade 6: at my friend’s; in her driveway, playing with the chihuahuas.

In my cousin’s red  Corvette Stingray with white leather seats. I also went on his snowmobile and my mother was furious when she found out!

The cottage(age 4-5) walking on the dry, hard, prickly brown grass. Getting caught in a hailstorm.

Going on my uncle’s and my cousin;’s motorboats in summer, zipping across the water.

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